To the friends, acquaintances and family who wonder where I am…It’s not you, it’s me.
Parenting littles is NO JOKE y’all. It is hard, it is exhausting, it is all consuming. I am parenting littles and I am in the trenches. It takes every ounce of me and most days I am simply struggling to keep my head above water.
So, to the friends who are in a different stage with their littles: it’s not you, it’s me. Maybe you’ve forgotten what it’s like in the thick of it, but just know that I am still here, I am not going anywhere, but I just have to focus my energy on raising the tiny humans right now.
To the acquaintances I meet in the grocery store who might get a short version of me or my closed off face: it’s not you, it’s me. I have been up all night with the baby and then I started my day at 430 AM with the toddler. I’m just forging ahead until nap time – ticking the musts off my list and giving all my energy to these boys of mine. There’s simply nothing left.
To my siblings who don’t yet have kids and don’t hear or see me as often as they would like: it’s not you, it’s me. The weight of motherhood is impossible to understand until you’re in it. I take deep responsibility to care and raise these boys into strong and kind men. But to do that they simply need all of me right now. I am saddened that my season pulls me away from my family of origin – but know that I am here for you, it just may look different then it did before.
To my coworkers who once got more of me as my passion drove me to maximum hours and overworking: it’s not you, it’s me. Although I miss you deeply and miss my job and being in the know with all the things – this is just a season I’m in. My boys need a consistent and stable presence and that role is for me. One day I will be back with more vigor, creativity and passion – but for now I am just here and giving what I can.
In this season, it is okay to set boundaries and to prioritize. It’s okay to be honest, to say no, and to be vulnerable about your limitations. It is okay to say no to the outside world, so you can say yes to the inside world – to your littles, to your spouse and most importantly, to yourself.
This mama job is the only thing that really matters. Those sweet babies need you – the very best of you, not the exhausted, left over you. The rest of the things? It can wait. The people? They will understand and cheer you on through the messy, hard stuff. And those who don’t? Well they just weren’t meant for this season.
You will survive this time, mama. And you will thrive if you let go of pleasing others – the outside world – and simply focus on connecting to your inside world.
So, love those littles with all that you’ve got. Play hard and let the housework slide. Be present, be connected and remember that relationships are all God ever wanted. You got this mama and I do too.
Xo - B