Today was one of THOSE days.
You know the days where you count down the minutes as mama. The days where the big emotions that your three-year-old has have been magnified times 100 and he is literally crying over every SINGLE thing?
I’ve decided motherhood with a toddler is an emotional boxing match with someone half your size and with multiple personalities. It only leaves you exhausted and wondering if you are crazy.
That was me today – afraid to even speak or look at the little for he may explode into tears or a hitting spree. So I tiptoed through the day and amazingly stayed calm….all the way until bath time when he literally dumped a bucket of water onto the floor. Then the threats came out…not a proud moment. But hey I stayed composed for 13 LONG hours of this crap. I had had ENOUGH.
Scoop up that crazy little human right into bed and que stories and snuggles. Bedtime an hour early is where we were at and it could not have come soon enough.
But as I laid there with my little guy (yes I still lay with him until he falls asleep, but that’s a different post for another time.), he began to ask questions and tell me repeatedly how much he loved me. And in these sweet moments I remember. I remember why I love being a mama and why I wouldn’t give up this life for anything else.
Tonight his question made the entire HARD day worth it.
E: Mama why is there people in the world?
M: Well, God decided to make the world and create all the people.
E: Oh…well are there lots of gods?
M: No, why do you ask that?
E: Well, God is in a lot of hearts, so there must be a lot of gods.
M: Ohhh! Well there is only one God and he is not like a human, he is something called omnipresent where he can be everywhere at one time. He can be in all of our hearts at the same time.
E: WHOA! So, he can be in my heart, and mama’s heart and daddy’s heart?
M: Yes – He is pretty amazing like that.
E: Hmmm…I love you mama.
This is what it is about. This is what I am called to be mama for. To teach my son about the bigger things of this world. To tell him about the amazing God we have and his fierce love for him. To teach him about love and grace and kindness in a world that is often void of this. I am called to be a mama because I get to shape this little boy into a man who changes this world into something better. And one day, that strong willed personality will equip him to do BIG things. And one day those emotions will equip him to be a better man as I have allowed him to feel instead of hide. And one day it will all be over and I will miss all of it...even those hard days.