Dear Mama, Here's What I Wish You Knew...

To the mama who tells me I am doing it all wrong…that I am too overprotective, too hands-on, and obviously “a first time mom…”

Here is what I wish you knew:

While Eli is my world, he is not my first baby. What may seem over-involved and over-protective to you – is me savoring every sweet moment because I know all too well what it is like to never get that chance. While I may look like a “first time mom” I am actually a mama of two… just like you. I just didn’t have the opportunity to learn with my first like you did.

While I still rock my baby to sleep and get up with him most nights, it is not for a lack of trying. My baby had colic and rocking and holding was the only thing that gave him peace. While I may be exhausted, he is content. While I may feel frustrated, he knows his mama will always come to him and never leave him. While I may miss a full-night’s rest, I also know that soon he will no longer want to be held.

While my baby still drinks from a bottle and does not eat dairy, it is not by choice. My baby has milk intolerance and yes that is a real thing. What I would give for him to be able to eat normal and enjoy all the foods you do. But instead he spends hours crying and in pain. So yes I will do what my mama instinct says and stop all dairy. And yes he is healthy and nutritionally cared for.

While my baby may not say all the words your 13 month old says, he is smart and he is learning and growing each day. While you may not be able to understand, you are only with him for brief moments of his day. And as his mama I see him communicating beautifully.

While I may not do things like you, it does not mean I am doing this mama thing wrong. And vise-versa. You are your little’s mama and only you know your story.

So instead of telling one another all the ways we are failing & all the ways we should, let’s celebrate all the beautiful things we are and do as mamas. Let’s remember that my strength may be your weakness and your strengths may be my weaknesses. Instead of judging, let’s celebrate our differences.

Because here is the truth: You are doing everything right.

You are doing everything you know and learning what you don’t. And that is really all we are called to do. None of us know the answers and all of us are secretly afraid we are messing this mama thing up.

We are all in this together. We all have stories and struggles and joy. We could all use community. We could all use support. And we ALL need encouragement.

So here is some #mamalove my lovely mamas. Pass it on to all the mamas you know and all the mamas you meet. Because love is really what it is all about. Love for our littles, love for ourselves, and love for our fellow mamas.

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Remember, you were never created to do it all and you were never created to do it alone.