Are you lonely, mama?
Being a mama is lonely, the days are long and busy, filled with no sleep, crying, and doing the same thing over and over. I find myself starved for adult conversations and wondering when the last time I wore actual pants (I am still in the debate on leggings as pants, however). As my little man is with me longer, I am realizing that there is honestly no one else who gets motherhood, than other mamas. As an introvert – the thought of reaching out to other mamas is beyond SCARY. I get it – we are afraid of judgment, we are afraid of rejection, we are afraid that we honestly cannot cram another darn thing into our insane schedules…
But mamas, please do this for me won’t you? You need to take care of yourself. You need to be built up, encouraged, and loved on by other mamas! The very thought of real support – is enough to make all the scary things worth it. I PROMISE you we are all feeling the exact.same.way. So won’t you be brave with me? Won’t you take the first step and reach out to some other mamas?
We all have a story – find commonalities. It’s hard to stay friends with someone who has different values, or different experiences. Find those mamas who have similar stories to you, are parenting in similar ways, and have similar goals.
End the mama wars – respect the differences. The golden rule? Absolutely, no judgment. None. Zip. Notta. Zero. It’s impossible to find a mama doing life exactly like you. Agree on the big things, then respect the small different things.
Open Up – be true to you, to the joy, to the struggle. Let’s stop putting on the “face” and making things look better than they are. Let’s be honest. One of the loneliest things about motherhood, is feeling like you are the only one struggling. Let’s celebrate the joyful moments and support in the moments of struggle.
Talk about YOU – its not all about the littles. Yes, its a mama friend, but we are women too. It’s okay to talk about you as a woman, as a person, as someone other than mom. Don’t get stuck on talk ab out the littles. Go deeper. Ask about her. It’s possible you may be the only person who has done that in awhile.
Here is what I have decided: if we all are in the same boat – lonely and too afraid to move, someone has to take the first step. In the words of Jen Hatmaker, “ Instead of waiting for community, provide it, and you’ll end up with it anyway.” Let’s do this mama – let’s take a step, any step, and find the community our souls have been craving. Its just you + me, lovely mamas, and that alone makes us a community.